We’ve all seen the signs showing us the best way to lift a heavy box.  We are meant to bend our knees and keep our back upright, not bent over.  Why?  Because we have more power in our legs and we won’t risk over exerting our weaker arm and back muscles by folding over and yanking the box up.  

When we source our life, our activities, our actions, our words from our authentic voice we are picking the box up by bending our knees.  Despite how life reacts to us, we have our strength underneath us.  We know we chose that thing, said that thing, did that thing from our authentic voice.  When we know this, we have power, stability, and resilience.    

On the other hand, when we do things, say things, or engage with life sourced from how we THINK others want us to behave, we have no stability.  We are using our weakest muscles, those of mind-reading skills.  When our ideas are challenged, we race for “the right” answer.  When our actions are questioned, we make up stories and defend ourselves against others' judgments.  In the metaphor with the box, we throw our backs out trying to land on the perfect way to act for our ever-changing audiences.

Reflect on this yourself.  Recall a time in your life when you met resistance from another when you knew you were acting authentically.  How did you meet their criticism?  Now do the same exercise, but recall a time when you were doing what you thought someone else thought you should do.  How did you feel when you met criticism in this scenario?

To using our most powerful muscles

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Think about yourself like a sailboat.  You can have your sails up or down.  Most of us have been trained to keep our sails down because someone might get hurt, upset, disappointed, angry, jealous, vengeful, or just not like us.  

So, we keep them down…except sometimes, perhaps out of rebellion, we raise them and we race around a little bit and out of over eagerness or lack of experience we sometimes crash. The crash comes because we are not accustomed to having our sails all the way up.  We've forgotten what it is to be fully alive, awake, and vibrant.

The challenge is to know when to put your sails up and when to keep them down.  Every sailor knows that there is a constant need to adjust the sails to keep the boat at optimal performance.  For this you need sensitivity, alertness, and knowledge.  

This is the kind of work that we do with our clients.  We help to make them more competent sailors of their vessel.  This is achieved by helping clients access their truth and who they really are.  You cannot rely on another person's ideas and perspectives to sail your sailboat, you must understand the right moments for you to raise your sails and how to best optimize them for the course you're sailing, the wind, and weather conditions.  Through our work together, you will have constant opportunities to get an up-close and intimate knowledge of yourself so when life presents new conditions, you will know better how to sail your boat.

To mastering your sailboat

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Do you know those “you are here” signs in malls?  We could all use one of those when we wake up in the morning (and really throughout the whole day).  Just a quiet and simple acknowledgement of where you are emotionally, psychologically, intentionally, physically…

We are quick to put ourselves into motion.  To look at where we “should” be going.  There is no problem looking where you want to go…but, if you don’t know where you are to begin with, you risk many stumbles and falls.  Instead, draw yourself a quick map.  I am here.  I am sad, happy, challenged, doubtful, eager, productive, unproductive…  Introspecting, looking and noticing and acknowledging your current state, your current condition, will give you the clarity to take the next step.  

For example, if I want to clear up a misunderstanding with a friend, first it’s critical to recognize “I am here” –  I am angry, I am looking to prove him wrong, I want retaliation.  Just from that simple pause, you can recognize this is not a great place to be starting a dialogue.  Now, in order to get where I want to go (let’s say repair the relationship), I first need to change where I am.  I need to take a few steps to the left and a few steps back into mutuality, listening, partnership, and open, honest communication. 

It is a pretty simple formula, but one that can have an incredible effect on your life and career.  Start with “I am here.”  

To noticing where you are

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A great way to live a life without purpose is to put a huge amount of pressure on yourself to have purpose.  We hear it a lot, that people are discouraged, overwhelmed, and critical of themselves for not knowing their purpose.  Being purposeful in life is completely natural.  Unfortunately, most of us were raised in environments where we were discouraged from doing/being what was natural for us. So we need to do some work to bring that naturalness back to life.  That is all that finding your purpose is.  Waking yourself up to who you are. 

There should be no moral connotation associated with your purpose.  It shouldn’t have anything to do with what other people may or may not find worthy of pursuing.  The reason people who live with purpose are universally attractive is because they are filled with life.  Whether they cured cancer, painted beautifully, invented cell phones, or did none of those things, it doesn’t matter - what matters is living with the natural enthusiasm of living your life.  Living aligned with yourself and your qualities creates that inner sense of contentment and simple joy.  

A purposeful life is defined only by you, not by what you do, whom you’ve helped, or what mark you leave.  Those are all important, but they need not be considered when you are defining who you are and what you want to do or be on this planet.  Those outcomes are all the result of living your purpose, not the ingredients needed to know it.

Our intention in sharing this today is to encourage you to take the pressure or anxiety out of the "purpose conversation."  Pay attention to your genuine voice not what you think others would want you to be, or what would look good on a resume.  What looks good on a resume is a fully alive person.  That comes from continually defining and expressing your purpose.

To dropping the pressure and eventizing around “finding your purpose,” 

The Workability Team

If you haven’t checked it out yet, take a look at our course The Lost Art of Satisfaction.  We teach you how to ask the right questions to define your purpose and you will have a workbook that will guide you through defining yourself now and as you continue to grow and evolve.

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There’s three camps.  Those who complain that they don’t have any discipline, those that aggrandize themselves for having lots of discipline, and those that never even think about it.

We want you to come explore camp three with us.  The group that no longer thinks about it.  

Wouldn’t your life be a lot more joyous if you wanted to do all the things on your to do list.  Genuinely wanted to do them!  We’re not talking about enjoying it because you will be relieved it’s done.  We’re talking about a lifestyle that is free from dread and snoozed alarm clocks.  

How is this possible?  It’s very simple, but may take years to perfect.  Establish your purpose.  When you know who you are, and who you are not and you know what you are here for, you will have no need or use for discipline.  

Discipline is a game of force and relies on conflicting desires.  When you are crystal clear about who you are, you won’t have conflicting desires.  Imagine that.  It might seem like we are saying that it is easy to establish your purpose.  We’re not.  We simply want to bring your attention to where your efforts will bear more fruit.  The endeavor to establish your purpose will be a thousand times more fruitful than strengthening your ability to be disciplined.

Here’s how we can help:  Our online course, The Lost Art of Satisfaction will give you practical tools to help you in identifying your purpose.  Through a series of videos and exercises you will leave this course with a clearly defined purpose that you can continue to craft over the months to come.

To a purposeful life,

The Workability Team

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Are you too busy chasing it to realize you already have it?

In Buddhism, there is something called enlightened "aimlessness."  To the Western mind, this is close to blasphemous.  Aimless is what we are all trying so hard to prove we are not.  Hurry and set your New Year’s Resolution.  Always have a goal in mind.  Motivate.  Motivate. Motivate.   Stay on purpose.

At the root of all of our goals and aspirations is the hunger to be alive.  Simply to be in the experience of living.  When we are hyper-focused on goals and achievements, we are doing life and that is a really poor way to experience life.

Don’t wait to achieve the goal, get the promotion, or meet the perfect person, to be alive.  Let life be the goal.  You woke up this morning.  You are reading this.  What a wonder!  We can all use to be more aimless to truly feel the pulse of life.  

Never let your goals distract you from the pure joy of life.  Life is for the living.  And guess what, you are alive today.    

To Aimlessness,

The Workability Team

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Today’s letter is inspired by a James Baldwin quote,

Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.

Yikes.  That is a real gut punch.  

The distance between what you believe and how you act is sometimes harrowing;  Children bring us the truth through their behavior.  

So, how do you close that gap?  How do you become an example of what you speak in both your actions and your internal world?  Well, getting at your thoughts is a good place to start.  Our actions, in large part, are born out of our thoughts.  If we have a pessimistic outlook, it affects how we participate in life.  

In our work, we put your thoughts under the microscope.  Together, we study how your thinking is getting in your way.  And, in many ways, how you are your own worst enemy and even more importantly, what to do about it.

One of the foundational aspects of our work is Integrity.  We don’t define integrity in the standard way of someone being a "good" and "ethical" person by an outside standard.  Our way of viewing integrity is acting, living, and thinking in register with who you know you are.  We have countless exercises and ways to approach this question to help you illuminate your answers.  

This is the kind of work that gets at the roots of why you do what you do and will give you the technology to plant the seeds for what you truly want to grow.

To being an example of what you speak!

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We're going to say it right up front; this is going to be controversial.  So buckle up and read 'til the end.  

The question we have for you today is: Whom do you want by your side, the person who made 1,000 promises and kept 500 or the person who made 1 promise and kept 1 promise.  No bargaining, you either get one or the other.

We’ll take the person who made 1,000 promises.  

Now, it’s important to say here that most people who break promises do NOT handle it responsibly.  They lie, don’t inform others in a timely way, and generally act horribly.  Most likely because they are embarrassed.  Nobody would prefer dealing with this person.

However, if you are an "adult" about your promises and take responsibility for the outcome, whatever it is, then we’ll take your 500 broken promises.  

Life can either be a game of playing it safe or being bold and putting your neck on the line, again and again.

If it is the latter, you are going to break some promises.  The idea that promises shouldn’t be made unless you know you will be able to keep them is childish.  

Don’t use this as a hall pass for breaking promises.  It is really a hall pass for making them.  Promises and commitments are a vital ingredient to success.  If you only make the ones you know you can keep, you are limiting your potential.  Giving our word to something creates potential.

It is common to hear phrases like, "don’t make promises that you can’t keep!"  We say, make promises that allow you to grow.  Oftentimes, those are the ones that you have no clue whether you will be able to keep or not.   If you are only willing to make promises inside your "comfort zone" then you will effectively keep yourself, your life, and your future contribution smaller, duller, and within your "comfort zone."

Under-promise and over-deliver, no thanks.  Promise big AND over-deliver.  Promises put your ass on the line.  We need our asses on the line to produce outside of our comfort zone.  The whole reason it is called a comfort zone is because WE DON’T WANT TO COME OUT OF IT.  

Here’s a simple truth we’ll leave you with: You can’t keep your word until you give your word.  What promises/commitments do you dream of keeping?  Well, you’ve got to make them to keep them.

To promising!

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The only boat that doesn’t make waves is the one moored at the dock, going nowhere.  It’s a very simple and good reminder that we could all use to hear more often.  

The challenge is, we have been given conflicting advice.  Growing up, heading into our first jobs, and in creating our families, there is a dual message:

• Don’t make waves!
• You gotta get out there and make some waves!

This results in a really confounding, conflicting, and frustrating experience.  All the admonitions and advice result in a lack of flow with our own instincts and passions.  

It reminds us of Eleanor Roosevelt's famous quote, "Do what you feel in your heart to be right — for you’ll be criticized anyway."

When we get busy trying to follow the rules of what’s expected of us and/or rebelling against what’s expected of us, our attention is not on "what we feel in our heart."  

We’re all going to make waves as we navigate life.  The challenge is to make sure your waves are consistent with your course. 

Seek clarity and the wisdom to bring full consciousness to all of your endeavors.  This will always serve you.  This is the work that we have been delivering to clients for over forty years.  Connect with us to learn how we can help you see yourself and your endeavors with greater clarity.

To making waves!

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Have you been hearing this question from friends/family/co-workers (yourself)?  It’s especially prevalent among young folks as we continue through this pandemic (even as we start to see some hope).  

"What’s the point?"  Plans, forget about them.  Certainty, not a thing anymore.  When you hear people talk about "after the pandemic," do you quietly fear that things will never get back to how they were before?  We hear people expressing this sentiment frequently.

In one way or another, the pandemic has brought up this question for so many: WHAT IS THE POINT?  If you take the hopelessness out of it, it’s actually a great question.  We’d like you all to take this opportunity to answer it.  What is your point?  Why do you get up in the morning?  

The pandemic took away many of our security blankets (aka our routines).  Our routines were comforting signals to us that we were "doing" something with our lives.  If the pandemic has left you feeling unmoored and asking yourself,  what’s the point? it might be the right time to look inside to find your point - your reason for being.  Your point (your purpose) is not something that depends on the world looking or "behaving" a certain way.  That can be challenging to accept at times.  This approach has us confront our real reasons for not doing something and takes away the handy excuse called "circumstances."

How much of your creativity would emerge if you were crystal clear about your purpose (your point)?  The solution to any problem lives in our ability to expand our minds and be creative.  When we know what our point is (our purpose), when we have an unmovable (but not ridgid) experience of who we are and what matters to us, our ability to make things work is immense.  When we don’t know our purpose the roadblocks seem insurmountable, and getting motivated feels like a Herculean effort.

When circumstances present challenges and we summon the courage to look within (as opposed to complain about what’s going on around us), we often reflect back on those challenges as the best things that ever happened to us.  How could you make the challenges of the pandemic the best things that ever happened to you, your family, and your career?  

We‘re not being callous or Pollyanna in our approach.  We are not saying, "Hey look on the bright side!"  What we are saying is that you are far more capable, competent, big-hearted, and resilient than you give yourself credit for.  And, when you opt not to express who you are and what matters to you (no matter how good the reason), it’s a terrible loss.  

To knowing your point!

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