Well, if we look around us, it certainly seems like more people are opting for anger. In the work that we do, we get to hear our clients talk about some of the most sensitive moments in their life. One thing we have found again and again is that when people at first seem angry, if you scratch the surface a bit, it turns out that they are actually sad.
Why is that? For most of us, expressing sadness is much more vulnerable than being annoyed. Sadness demonstrates that we really, really care. For most of us, that is a dangerous thing to reveal and to own for ourselves. The moment that you proclaim that you care, the possibility of loss is also present. So, we frequently hold the things dearest to us up close and try not to reveal just how much we care.
The outcome of all that is that we walk around being defended; we walk around guarded. When things haven’t gone our way or we have lost something or someone we care about, instead of showing others that we are sad, we sometimes show them that we are angry or that we don’t care at all. Unfortunately, this tends to incite more of the same from them. How would the world of politics look today if people expressed their sadness instead of their anger?
What do you think? Do you find expressing anger easier than expressing sadness?
To vulnerability!
