We consider that acceptance of what is, is a required first-step in making sustained change and progress. If we start from resistance, upset, and avoidance of an issue, our ability to identify what needs to be changed, effectively change it, and create new workable patterns is compromised.
Frequently, our work with a client begins with us understanding all the judgements they have about a particular issue that they are unhappy with. It’s a bit like helping someone with a leg injury get back to running marathons. First, you have to do a lot of things that have nothing to do with running. If you start running too quickly…we all know what happens
During this process, it is not uncommon for us to hear, “I’m not getting any better at this acceptance thing.” When we hear this, we translate it to, “I’m still resisting my feelings about _________.”
The “trick” here is that we don’t need to try to accept things. Our effort needs to be placed on removing resistance. Accepting things as they are, is our natural baseline. This is why all meditative practices are looking to return us to this basic ability to be in the moment with everything as it is and everything as it is not.
So, if you are one of those folks who finds yourself lamenting your lack of ability to accept. Instead of saying “why can’t I accept this?” Ask, “What am I resisting?” We think you will have a much easier time addressing whatever comes up. Afterall, It is easier to let go of something you are gripping, than to ponder about what letting go really means. Place the attention where it will aid you.
To the right kind of effort
