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July 25, 2023

Let’s talk about the relationship between compliance and responsibility.  We often hide behind compliance to avoid responsibility.  "She told me to do it!"  "We were only following the rules!"  At times we may seek the seeming safety of compliance, but we also often rebel against it.  The safety being that the buck stops somewhere else, not with you, and the rebellion sounds like, "don’t tell me what to do."  

So how do you get out of this paradigm?  Try on responsibility.  Many people think responsibility and blame are synonymous.  How we define responsibility is "the ability to respond," which usually means we realize that we have a choice. When we own our ability to take action or not take action, we experience more freedom and power.  We stop feeling the need to hide behind someone else's decision or rule, but rather take responsibility for either signing on and agreeing to follow that rule, or finding another productive and satisfying way forward.  Responsibility connects us with our own voice while oftentimes compliance is motivated out of fear and has us lose our voice.  

So yes, with responsibility the buck will always stop with you, but it will also be because you completely own your life and your decisions.  That’s a pretty good trade off.

To choosing

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