For those of you who watched the presidential debate, I’m guessing you didn’t walk away feeling inspired, invigorated, and eager to tackle what’s next. Am I right?!
Did you wonder why it was so draining to watch? One of the reasons is that it fell so horribly short of our vision of what is possible. It was 90 minutes of division, bent on right or wrong. Winning or losing.
There was no seeking of common understanding, connection, sharing ideas, or respect. And yes, I know the intention of a debate is not to come to accord, but it could have been a platform to share different ideas on how to make things better.
If we want our dinner-table conversations and workplace disagreements to be something worthy of respect, we clearly cannot look to our so-called leaders as examples. When did disagreements become about holding your ground rather than a starting place?
How do you communicate and hear a different perspective while still maintaining your ultimate goal of creating connection and common understanding? No matter how much we might deny it in our thinking and actions, we seek connection with other humans. Period. It’s really that simple.
This is what our newest course, Learn How to Argue to Create Partnership, will help you do. When we argue and disagree with an intention to connect, we can grow together. When we do it from a place of division, we grow apart...and eventually, we go to war.
Choosing to connect with another does not mean that you agree with their position or point. Ask yourself, can I tolerate accepting another while I disagree with them?
So how do we bring connection when we are divided?
- SLOW down!
- Remember what is true (we want connection)
- Listen for common ground NOT opportunities to be right
- Seek to learn and understand (not only to be understood)
- Pay attention and speak from our hearts not our egos
- Be aware of the 6 dynamics of unworkable arguments
We can all use a reminder of who we really are while in the midst of an argument, and the tools to keep connection and partnership at the forefront of our minds in this tumultuous, contentious, and divisive time.
Join us in our newest course: Learn How to Argue to Create Partnership.