Sometimes it is the easiest to see what causes us to overreact around the people most dear to us. Someone leaves a cabinet door open, or a dish in the sink and suddenly it is war. The mistake that is often made is that the argument becomes about the cabinet door. The heightened reaction is not to an open cabinet door! When you notice these overreactions, it is time to slow down and ask yourself a lot of questions.
What does this situation remind me of?
How am I interpreting the other’s actions?
What do I feel when this thing happens?
What am I afraid of?
Does this thing always upset me or only at particular times (or with particular people)?
And many others…
Once you have answered these questions, THEN (if it is appropriate) you can have a thoughtful, communicative conversation with the other. It is useful to treat reactions as opportunities to ask questions and introspect. Don’t miss out on it by arguing about the stimulus of the reaction. Oftentimes it is not the source of the anger. And if you don’t identify the source, you will keep repeating this reaction over and over and over.
In our work, we help you identify the source of many of the reactions you have. Bringing clarity and awareness to this can be life changing. If you are interested in learning more, book a 20-minute call with us.
To slowing down!